Strangeness

This past week has been one of the most uneventful and dreadfully dreary to endear in my limited eleven weeks of university experience. Some young women are blossoming and thriving in the real world in which they feature and open runway shows across prestigious, fashion-forward countries. I am stuck handing in boring assignment after assignment and cramming in as much horrible content about evolution, tectonic movement and inorganic chemistry. I have always firmly believed that I have picked the right course and hedged my way in to a high-paying career- this week has brought me a loss of appetite for food as well as complete exhaustion. I am stuck studying the basic condensation theory of the formation of the universe while others are displaying it in a beautiful manner in dresses. The humdrum life of a science degree has never brought me so much displeasure in my life- and unfortunately it's only just begun.

For some strange reason I really admire this type of scrawly illustrations where the facial expression and details are finely drawn and the nose doesn't look like my pudgy abominations. I know in the bottom pits of my heart that I will never be able to draw a person's face well without them being offended so it's just easier to draw something that looks like a cartoon anyway. It's my small compromise between skill and not letting my self-esteem and childhood dream of becoming an illustrator or cartoonist die out. The regime of drawing once a day in my flip-through desk calender has been abysmal and I only pick up a pen to write notes or busily write down a new shift for work. I can afford lots of new things this year but, as always, I have no time to be creative and artistic.

 

I love flipping through the online pages of Tavi Gevinson's blog, Style Rookie to see her collection of curious tidbits such as plastic hair pieces and jewellery, cosmic memorabilia as well as mementos in the vain of the Virgin Suicides. I've read plenty about it from her perspective and have seen how the story has profoundly changed her as an individual. It would be nice to dip into that novel and experience it for myself and see just how much I'm really missing. Instead of crawling around second hand shops and taking trips to the library I've had my head down in my books or have been lounging about at work. In just one month I'll take a scenic tour of CBD Melbourne as part as an extra credit assignment for Geoscience as well as plan my end of year holiday at my boyfriend's house. There's a lot to look forward to but even more to slog through in the coming weeks.

It's been suggested that smokers are more unproductive than their cleaner-lunged counterparts; what with all the breaks for a smoke and whatnot. But can be taking a step back and stepping outside in the fresh air for a few minutes to indulge in nicotine and look at the bigger picture be all that bad? I for one, feel to wrapped up in all my activities and have always been studious and attentive towards the finer details in life. I don't plan on picking up smoking and am very proud of my boyfriend for being a non-smoker in a family of smokers but I think there's some value in standing outside for 10-15 minutes a day, once or twice a day and seeing what happens outside whatever building your stuck in for most of the day. While I do love the creature comforts of indoors and worn out couches during Winter, I can't help but feel unsettled when I realise it's been days since I've lest the house and walked further than the mail box each day.

I revel in the tales of one of my high school girlfriends and her exploits as a student studying arts and sculptures; belonging to a group of creative people and making a daily pilgrimage across the road for Chai Lattes. I imagine their dress and daily garb to be fantastic and exotic and I hung on every word as she described a girl with a wolf tattooed on her arm. There are people contributing to the indulgent creative side of our society and feeding the soul and nourishing the spirit and I feel isolated from them and on the opposite boundary of tertiary education learning about science. Being called a nerd and smart cookie has never bothered me particularly but it feels like such a rigid and horrible structure to education now that I've settled into my routine. It seems that the culture I'm most likely to experience is trying a different store from around campus to buy lunch from.

In two weeks I may experiment with sparklers, birthday candles and Freddo Frog Ice-cream cake for my boyfriend's twentieth birthday. He's not very fashion-minded: he wears flannels and shirts from Jay Jays and wipes his grubby hands on his clothes but he's still rather adorable and like my best friend. I have to try and make the day really special and magical since he's always been my strength, love and support but I have to compete with the mad cooking skills of his grandmother. I have been known to burn water in a saucepan before so I have a feeling I'll come out second best in that bout, but she has a wonderful Irish accent and I plan on getting her to teach me to knit. All is well and all will be well as long as the cake doesn't turn into liquid before the candles get blown out and all digitally enhanced images involving space are left to the true hipsters.

Forest

Everything seems to artificial today and there's nothing green and luscious at all in my environment- needless to say it's driving my slightly paranoid and worried about the effects of urbanisation and the lack of trees and forests. I can't wait to talk off on my holiday to Canada next year, from my older brother's photographs and experience he indulged in doing mountain walks and absorbing in natural forest full of green leaves and wide trunked trees.

 

I suppose many days I'm quite happy not to leave the comfort of my home but today feels particularly lonely and absent of living creatures. I'm surrounded by things that are neither living nor dead- I'd love to instead feel the warmth of the sun and see luscious green grass and forest all around me. Maybe having a pet in my room such as a cat and something living and companionate would make me feel better about the little activity I participate in everyday. Next week is the start of many activities for orientation of university including scavengers hunts as well as an outdoor music festival. Finally then I'll stop feeling like a recluse and get some face-to-face interaction with new and exciting people.

  I wonder exactly how many American footballers enjoy meeting in the clearings of forests, fully dressed in shoulder pads and the like. I have the opportunity to maybe create my own photographs in this style and image in the coming months if I'm lucky enough. On the weekend I will be fixing up applications and cover letters for volunteer positions- one includes acting as a promotional photographer in order to advertise the sporting groups and clubs at my new university. While it may be a task a little over the knowledge of a simple lowly first-year, I'm keen to at least apply for such an opportunity but sourcing my own models as well as props may be another problem in itself.

My mother says that I'll love the trees and large suspended bridges of Canada when we go- the views are amazing and I'd love to see the forest shrouded in a veil of heavy trees. I just have to ensure that I have the discipline to save my money and keep working as many available opportunities as I can despite the fact I'm not loving my job at the moment. I'm sure when I'm holding a Canon 50D or something similar with a few thousand dollars in hand for a long holiday next year it will all have been worthwhile.

On returning to Melbourne after a semester of study in Canada, my brother was quick to criticise the landscape I had always viewed as on occasion hilly. He despaired at the lack of mountains and the flatness of the ground (just as well he never went to California, flat city). My mother plans for us to visit Canada in Summer which will still be chillier than our Melbourne Winter and I'm keen so see some mysterious cloud and fog banks engulfing rugged mountain terrain and trees.

I heard many a wonderful story about whole groups of raccoons raiding garbage cans at night but in my three weeks in America not once did I see these creatures- a pity really considering how seemingly domesticated they've become due to the encroaching of man into animal territory. I guess I'm just a sucker for any animal with large expressive eyes, unusual fur markings and a twitching nose expressing an inquisitive nature and a soul hungry to learn more socially.

I have a distinct policy about crosses and avoiding them being drawn on my body and especially on my forehead in the place of a bindi but I do rather admire the floral wreath and loose, sheer shirt situation and field of tall grass. Just my luck that there's no fields or parks where no one bothers to go in my area- I wouldn't mind giving the tumble in the tall grass a go but there is no doubt in my mind that my hair would become a horrible tangled mess.

Ah Melbourne, although there is a wealth of activities within the city and revolving around Federation Square for young bored people such as myself- there's definitely a lack in the culture of nature walks as well as interesting environmental scenery. Once you've been enough times, Melbourne Zoo can also be a lonely trip and tiresome although the grounds are so large and there's always animals you never get to see after an entire circuit of trawling around the place.

I wonder what a cat would think of a long and romantic walk around a well kept park full of beautiful plants and a noticeable absence of mice and rats. I can't say that I know the feline personality quite well but in my experiences they are wriggling jelly beans smothered in fur and do not enjoy long periods of being held and carried around. Also- cat leashes and walking around one's neighbourhood with cat in tow is a laughable matter.

This year I am determined to make a visit to my city's Royal Botanical Garden as well as Royal Flower Show as a photographic aesthetic experience and something fun to do with my mother- should we not be feuding at that instance and point in time. I haven't been in years and it certainly would be nice to feel inspired and also a bit ashamed about the state of affairs for my own garden. The last thing I remember about the show I last attended was engraving things on smooth looking river stones.

Sometime in the future I do plan to take a bit of a trek around modern Japan as well as contrasting the life between village and big city.

Green

All this year I'll be travelling to and from university using public transport, a combination of train and bus. So in the spirit of things I thought I would show off a few pictures of serene green settings? I just wanted to share with you my readers some of the photographs that have been inspiring me and similar things that I hope to see and explore. I've decided to study Geosciences and possibly major in it if I never make it to veterinary sciences and I'm enticed by a six digit annual paycheck. It's not just that though- I love the Earth as well.

I don't wear a lot of green in my usual routine but I do have two skirts in green that I love to death- one's American Apparel and long and pleated and the other has a print of leaves in black and white that usually wins compliments. At one stage of my past life, being an awkward and embarrassing teenager I bought some fluorescent green nail polish but only used it once. I don't think I'm brave enough to try and wear the shade again.

At my parent's house we have a few separate climbing vine plants and when we first bought the place my mother ordered everyone to pull them all off. She feared they would eventually ruin the strength and integrity of the bricks but when you think about it, the compression strength of a brick can't be harmed very much by small anchoring roots. To think, I could be sitting on a veranda swarming with vines on the walls and ceiling if she hadn't thrown a monkey wrench into those plans.

It's not often you see such large and tall pine trees but I remember when the house on the street corner had these amazing large pine trees bordering a small fence and house and the fence was inch deep in brown needles. At my father's old work place there were also tall pine trees taller than a second storey building and the lunch room had a small balcony which backed out onto the trees. I've lost all the lovely pine trees in my life but maybe my future of collecting research data in the field and maybe in forests will reunite me with them once more.

All the Beautiful Flowers

I'm in one of the most wonderful romantic moods but I'm also zonked out after sleeping-in today past noon. I've spent the day gathering research and hand-writing notes on a brand, putting together images of Alexa Chung and reading a soppy love story from the library. Another thing I dedicated today to was organising pictures of flowers and arranging my own fake ones that are gifts from my boyfriend. While this is probably just one of my wild moods brought about from a hormonal imbalance I hope it stays; I quite like organising space in my room for an armchair, looking at photographs of pretty flowers and chasing up a pink Yves Saint Laurent arty ovale ring.

About twice a year a line of rose bushes along the back of my garden light up in full bloom and give off a frenzy of budding flowers, it's about as wild and numerous as the roses pictured here but there's less of a red tinge to the pink and the petals are a brighter and hotter shade of pink. Unfortunately since plants are lacking in intelligence they just don't know when to stop and keep growing until they fall over due to their own weight. At one point of the year a few of out best roses were crushed into the ground by the heavy weight of rain and gravity. A real pity. 

Even if my romantic and flower-loving hippy mood dissipate I would still like to make my way to the annual flower show in my city and visit it with my mother and a good SLR film camera in hand. I remember last year when I burned with agony at the invitation from my mother and had to turn down the opportunity due to the amount of study I had to do to keep up with my subjects but this year I am free to do as a I please as long as I keep up with university study which should be a lighter load in comparison.

I love the dreamy purple tinge to the photograph created undoubtedly by the low light and mystery of a camera lens- I wish I could return to final year celebrations with my friends. In Australia it's somewhat tradition to head off for a week or two after finishing exams on what is known as 'schoolies' and drink plenty and head down to the beach. With our collective and emptied bottles of drink I would have loved to find some gorgeous flowers to sink them into just as someone else has done before me.

I'm in desperate need of floral skirts and more vintage or vintage looking pieces within my wardrobe, but before that takes place I really should sell the unnecessary items in my room to make space and money for new things. If I could, pulling together a garage sale would be ideal but eBay will have to do and this way I don't have to deal with haggling and much human interaction. To be fair, my yard and driveway would not make the ideal setting for such a sale anyway.

The filtered effect of this photograph is subtle, but with the darkening edges of the image as well as what looks like gentle distortion I would say a toy camera with maybe a fisheye lens has been used or something that vignettes at the corners such as a Diana of Holga camera. I quite like the combination of pink and red tinged flowers and purple as well. I wish I could be bothered finding an ideal spot for flowers to grow in my yard but goodness knows that I am more interested in flowers I can look at in photographed and film form.

An interior decorating idea I'm currently toying with at the moment is buying a small square of fake grass but instead of using it as a rough rug I could place some small potted flowers and species of cactus with a little piece of outdoor furniture like a patio chair or a beach chair. My father was a great fan of gardening but he doesn't seem to quite have the energy for it anymore and when I played basketball he would always volunteer to drive me to games and watch on a Saturday. One of the things I guess I can look forward to when I'm an adult and own my own home is looking after plants and enjoying beautiful flowers.

I'd love to have one of these trees in my own garden- some of my favourite and more artistic film camera shots have come from photographing the flowers and the blue sky of this tree. Everyday from walking home from school I would pass a neighbour's house and in their front yard was one of these trees and its seasonal cycle is quite different from many other trees- there's little growth in Winter and bare looking spindly branches and a sudden explosion of petals and flowers and what follows that is new growth. I would love to be able to have one of these trees in my garden, especially if I live to be a little old lady.

Nothing makes me feel more in touch with nature than cruelly ripping a flower from a nearby tree or bush and pushing the sprig behind my ear and in my hair. Flowers are on of the more traditional affluent symbols which have been incorporated into design for years and years but with so many different species the possibilities are endless and they will never truly tire.